haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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