I'm so fucking centered right now
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
