just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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