It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
