What a fucking waste of an outfit
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
