you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
