My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
