We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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