i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
