You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
