How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
