white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
