Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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