whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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