Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
