I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
