Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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