Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
