you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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