I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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