so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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