writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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