I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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