Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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