how can u be prego again
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Randomize
