Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
