Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
