Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
