why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Walk of Shame today included voting.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Houston, we have a blender
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
