youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
It's like God shit irony all over that family
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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