did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
