How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
