oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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