In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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