It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
