trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
