I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Randomize
