I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
