Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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