well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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