its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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