so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
