Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
