she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
