I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
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