i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
