What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
