If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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