I need help removing her.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
