He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Randomize
