She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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