Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
