I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
