put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
How's work?
Spinning.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
