bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
